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pseudogeekI saw someone demanding a fic of that kind, but I forgot who. Do tell me? I only know that frigg, aka yue_ix, probably knows her (it's a her, right?) as I vaguely remember seeing her slash dragon icon in the comments.
Title: AquaLove (lame title, I know)
Fandom: can be an original, but can also be Merlin TV series AU “if Merlin was a dolphin and Arthur the trainer and they communicate via iPad”
Rating: G, but you count the word "flirting" mature, then PG-13. Hey, it's G, k?
Warning: Their personalities do not match the Merlin TV ones or any of the traditional ones. And no magic, no slash dragon, no Uther and no Morgana.
Arthur is a troubled young man searching for a summer job. Fate made him choose and be accepted at the one where he works as a dolphin assistant at MarineCentre. Granted, the pay is good, it’s the closest to his house – only 15 minutes via express bus at rush hours – and he gets enough sunlight to make his hair look more golden. Sparkling teeth are optional. His job consists of holding up an iPad to the dolphin, whose name is Merlin, while the trainer and researchers talk to the male bottlenose and expect him to answer via the touchscreen. Where did it go wrong? Well, the male bottlenose, being a healthy mostly heterosexual male sentient intelligent mammal to whom species is not a barrier, prefers to have a barely clothed sexy female assistant as TV and movies had him believe (the trainers let him watch a lot of old movies and TV series) rather than this unsavoury young man. On Arthur’s first day at work, the bottlenose systematically refuses to answer for the first part of the day. On the second part of the day, Arthur tries to verbally exert pressure on the dolphin. It earns the young man a groin attack. He gets to rest in the infirmary for the rest of the day.
The second day at work, Arthur receives another groin attack. Followed by a tibia attack. Followed by an attempt to bite at throat (only got the shirt collar, thankfully).
The third day, the dolphin shows Arthur a mouthful of teeth at sight. That’s a lot of teeth. And pointy.
The fourth day, Arthur is present with three choices. Four, actually, but three sounds better. 1)Give up this job; 2) wear a groin protector; 3) act more like an alpha male and build a better relationship with Merlin or 4) do both 2) and 3). He choose 4) because he wants to preserve both his safety and dignity (although walking around with a ridiculous groin protection doesn’t make you look very dignified). He walks into the shallow pool, the black shiny groin protector very obvious and seemly scaring Merlin into a confused stare. The bottlenose stared with one eye, than the other, then tilted and then upside-down. Then he shifts to the other half of the brain.
The fifth day, Merlin has understood what the black shiny fake leather thing his assistant is wearing is for. He giggled uncontrollably for a great part of the day.
The sixth day, Merlin has learned to playfully smack Arthur’s butt with his tail and exaggeratedly laugh at his face.
The seventh day, Merlin did the same thing.
The eighth day, Merlin tried the same trick again, but Arthur stared at him furiously before he could. Merlin hesitated. Is this human finally going to snap? Just to be careful, he didn’t bully Arthur that day.
Day nine is day where they prevent that the other is air. They continues doing that for few days, until somewhere between day fifteen and day twenty where Merlin decides that Arthur was bluffing and attacks. They were both surprised when Arthur grabbed Merlin by fin and threw him behind. Lucky for the dolphin, the water has good tension and himself was fat, so instead of landing on the land he only had his mouth coming in fast contact with the pool wall. For the rest of that day and onwards Merlin wouldn’t dare bully Arthur anymore.
Day 30 is when Merlin starts to take a liking to Arthur and vice versa. Stockholm syndrome?
Day 36 is when Merlin flirts with Arthur for the first time by blowing the blond boy a faceful of water.
Two weeks before the end of summer, Merlin allows Arthur to swim with him.
One week before the end of summer, Merlin and Arthur type each other love messages on the iPad.
The second last day before school starts, Arthur tells Merlin that tomorrow his last day working here this year. For the rest of the year he’ll be at the school and Merlin will stay here. Which school? Arthur replied with a name. I don’t know them, the dolphin says (in simpler, pre-typed words associated to symbols of course), will you bring them to me? This is where Arthur remembers that in the context of dolphins the word “school” means a group. No, he says, and explains that the human school is a place you go to and usually stays at one place. They looked at each other in silence. Then it’s the usual training sessions with the researchers.
The last day before school, everyone at first acted as if nothing is going to happen. Merlin almost thinks that he imagined yesterday’s conversation. Alas, at the last twenty minutes before Arthur punches out the staff threw him a mini goodbye party. Merlin was heartbroken. He hid underwater and did not come out no matter who or how they called him until the very last minute when Merlin turns to leave. A most impressive splash of water stalls Arthur in his steps, followed by the teeth of a bottlenose dolphin at least three times his weight dragging him by the shirt towards the pool.
“Merlin, Merlin,” he says to he dolphin, who is giving him the innocent look he has seen once on the face of a very adorable peach-faced lovebird right before biting your finger off, “I’m sorry, but I have to go.” Of course the dolphin is not letting him go. “Merlin, please, I’ll try to come back next year.” It’s the look that seems to say ‘Trying is not enough. Why don’t I drag you into my water, punches in your guts a several times and bite you to death if you attempt to escape and keep your corpse as souvenir?’ “Um… Look, I’ll ask the staff right here. I can come back next year, right?” They all agreed and nodded till their neck hurts, but the dolphin did not let go, having learned the subtle difference between ‘can’ and ‘will’, and how humans are able to deceive without lying. After trying to tear the dolphin off the shirt proves to be in vain, Arthur gives up by simply takes off his shirt and runs off. Not before yelling “I promise I’ll come back” however.
Leaves turn red, dolphins are moved inside and when they come out the leaves are green again. The next summer has come. Merlin waited and waited, but Arthur did not show up. Instead, it’s a foreign guy with a weird accident and pimples on his face. After clicking sounds, whistles and messages on iPad fails to summon Arthur, Merlin has invented a way to complain in silence: turn around and show sky his tummy to pretend to be a dead fish. He even gets to be laughed from his dolphin friends for that. Hey look, they’d say, it’s the dolphin obsessed with his human servant. Is he playing dead?
Another year passes. Still no Arthur. Merlin invents a way to hop through water on his back. The girl holding the iPad this year is very cute, but Merlin is no longer in mood to look at her.
And another year passes. Merlin invents the new fad of moving around by spinning as if drilling water like a fat grey underwater typhoon.
Yet another year comes. As he waits to be released into the outdoor pool, he decides that this year he’ll chase away his boredom by chewing on the iPads. The door opens. The iPads are coming this way. As he opens his elongated mouth full of pointy teeth and close them around the iPad, he notices that the hands holding it is somewhat familiar. Then the holder speaks. A minute later his friends have to carry him away because he got crushed by an overexcited dolphin.
Few years later, Arthur has become the professional and official trainer and handler of Merlin.
More years after, Arthur and Merlin marry. Happy End.
Except not. The law that allows interspecies marriage did not pass. Just like another law, however, they get something similar that includes the other into their family and pay taxes together or something.
Somewhere in between Merlin got some children with a female guest of the Centre and Arthur adopted one of the babies. Merlin taught it how to swim in the coolest ways possible and Arthur taught it to type and whistle at girls. Both influenced it to watch a lot of TV.
Arthur failed to keep a girlfriend long enough to get a child, even less a wife. What was especially unhelpful is that after he introduces Merlin to some of them, they giggle and run off to write some ‘fic’. They don’t stay his girlfriend long and he never knew what they wrote.
If only he knew. There were a fan club and few ship wars about him and his intelligent and oh-so-slash-able dolphin. Arthur has actually stumbled upon them a few times, but failed to identify himself or the dolphin .
How they and their relationship will end I do not know. But we wish them the best, and let’s call it a Happy End right here, wherever the story goes, just to be sure.
~Fin~
Title: AquaLove (lame title, I know)
Fandom: can be an original, but can also be Merlin TV series AU “if Merlin was a dolphin and Arthur the trainer and they communicate via iPad”
Rating: G, but you count the word "flirting" mature, then PG-13. Hey, it's G, k?
Warning: Their personalities do not match the Merlin TV ones or any of the traditional ones. And no magic, no slash dragon, no Uther and no Morgana.
Arthur is a troubled young man searching for a summer job. Fate made him choose and be accepted at the one where he works as a dolphin assistant at MarineCentre. Granted, the pay is good, it’s the closest to his house – only 15 minutes via express bus at rush hours – and he gets enough sunlight to make his hair look more golden. Sparkling teeth are optional. His job consists of holding up an iPad to the dolphin, whose name is Merlin, while the trainer and researchers talk to the male bottlenose and expect him to answer via the touchscreen. Where did it go wrong? Well, the male bottlenose, being a healthy mostly heterosexual male sentient intelligent mammal to whom species is not a barrier, prefers to have a barely clothed sexy female assistant as TV and movies had him believe (the trainers let him watch a lot of old movies and TV series) rather than this unsavoury young man. On Arthur’s first day at work, the bottlenose systematically refuses to answer for the first part of the day. On the second part of the day, Arthur tries to verbally exert pressure on the dolphin. It earns the young man a groin attack. He gets to rest in the infirmary for the rest of the day.
The second day at work, Arthur receives another groin attack. Followed by a tibia attack. Followed by an attempt to bite at throat (only got the shirt collar, thankfully).
The third day, the dolphin shows Arthur a mouthful of teeth at sight. That’s a lot of teeth. And pointy.
The fourth day, Arthur is present with three choices. Four, actually, but three sounds better. 1)Give up this job; 2) wear a groin protector; 3) act more like an alpha male and build a better relationship with Merlin or 4) do both 2) and 3). He choose 4) because he wants to preserve both his safety and dignity (although walking around with a ridiculous groin protection doesn’t make you look very dignified). He walks into the shallow pool, the black shiny groin protector very obvious and seemly scaring Merlin into a confused stare. The bottlenose stared with one eye, than the other, then tilted and then upside-down. Then he shifts to the other half of the brain.
The fifth day, Merlin has understood what the black shiny fake leather thing his assistant is wearing is for. He giggled uncontrollably for a great part of the day.
The sixth day, Merlin has learned to playfully smack Arthur’s butt with his tail and exaggeratedly laugh at his face.
The seventh day, Merlin did the same thing.
The eighth day, Merlin tried the same trick again, but Arthur stared at him furiously before he could. Merlin hesitated. Is this human finally going to snap? Just to be careful, he didn’t bully Arthur that day.
Day nine is day where they prevent that the other is air. They continues doing that for few days, until somewhere between day fifteen and day twenty where Merlin decides that Arthur was bluffing and attacks. They were both surprised when Arthur grabbed Merlin by fin and threw him behind. Lucky for the dolphin, the water has good tension and himself was fat, so instead of landing on the land he only had his mouth coming in fast contact with the pool wall. For the rest of that day and onwards Merlin wouldn’t dare bully Arthur anymore.
Day 30 is when Merlin starts to take a liking to Arthur and vice versa. Stockholm syndrome?
Day 36 is when Merlin flirts with Arthur for the first time by blowing the blond boy a faceful of water.
Two weeks before the end of summer, Merlin allows Arthur to swim with him.
One week before the end of summer, Merlin and Arthur type each other love messages on the iPad.
The second last day before school starts, Arthur tells Merlin that tomorrow his last day working here this year. For the rest of the year he’ll be at the school and Merlin will stay here. Which school? Arthur replied with a name. I don’t know them, the dolphin says (in simpler, pre-typed words associated to symbols of course), will you bring them to me? This is where Arthur remembers that in the context of dolphins the word “school” means a group. No, he says, and explains that the human school is a place you go to and usually stays at one place. They looked at each other in silence. Then it’s the usual training sessions with the researchers.
The last day before school, everyone at first acted as if nothing is going to happen. Merlin almost thinks that he imagined yesterday’s conversation. Alas, at the last twenty minutes before Arthur punches out the staff threw him a mini goodbye party. Merlin was heartbroken. He hid underwater and did not come out no matter who or how they called him until the very last minute when Merlin turns to leave. A most impressive splash of water stalls Arthur in his steps, followed by the teeth of a bottlenose dolphin at least three times his weight dragging him by the shirt towards the pool.
“Merlin, Merlin,” he says to he dolphin, who is giving him the innocent look he has seen once on the face of a very adorable peach-faced lovebird right before biting your finger off, “I’m sorry, but I have to go.” Of course the dolphin is not letting him go. “Merlin, please, I’ll try to come back next year.” It’s the look that seems to say ‘Trying is not enough. Why don’t I drag you into my water, punches in your guts a several times and bite you to death if you attempt to escape and keep your corpse as souvenir?’ “Um… Look, I’ll ask the staff right here. I can come back next year, right?” They all agreed and nodded till their neck hurts, but the dolphin did not let go, having learned the subtle difference between ‘can’ and ‘will’, and how humans are able to deceive without lying. After trying to tear the dolphin off the shirt proves to be in vain, Arthur gives up by simply takes off his shirt and runs off. Not before yelling “I promise I’ll come back” however.
Leaves turn red, dolphins are moved inside and when they come out the leaves are green again. The next summer has come. Merlin waited and waited, but Arthur did not show up. Instead, it’s a foreign guy with a weird accident and pimples on his face. After clicking sounds, whistles and messages on iPad fails to summon Arthur, Merlin has invented a way to complain in silence: turn around and show sky his tummy to pretend to be a dead fish. He even gets to be laughed from his dolphin friends for that. Hey look, they’d say, it’s the dolphin obsessed with his human servant. Is he playing dead?
Another year passes. Still no Arthur. Merlin invents a way to hop through water on his back. The girl holding the iPad this year is very cute, but Merlin is no longer in mood to look at her.
And another year passes. Merlin invents the new fad of moving around by spinning as if drilling water like a fat grey underwater typhoon.
Yet another year comes. As he waits to be released into the outdoor pool, he decides that this year he’ll chase away his boredom by chewing on the iPads. The door opens. The iPads are coming this way. As he opens his elongated mouth full of pointy teeth and close them around the iPad, he notices that the hands holding it is somewhat familiar. Then the holder speaks. A minute later his friends have to carry him away because he got crushed by an overexcited dolphin.
Few years later, Arthur has become the professional and official trainer and handler of Merlin.
More years after, Arthur and Merlin marry. Happy End.
Except not. The law that allows interspecies marriage did not pass. Just like another law, however, they get something similar that includes the other into their family and pay taxes together or something.
Somewhere in between Merlin got some children with a female guest of the Centre and Arthur adopted one of the babies. Merlin taught it how to swim in the coolest ways possible and Arthur taught it to type and whistle at girls. Both influenced it to watch a lot of TV.
Arthur failed to keep a girlfriend long enough to get a child, even less a wife. What was especially unhelpful is that after he introduces Merlin to some of them, they giggle and run off to write some ‘fic’. They don’t stay his girlfriend long and he never knew what they wrote.
If only he knew. There were a fan club and few ship wars about him and his intelligent and oh-so-slash-able dolphin. Arthur has actually stumbled upon them a few times, but failed to identify himself or the dolphin .
How they and their relationship will end I do not know. But we wish them the best, and let’s call it a Happy End right here, wherever the story goes, just to be sure.
~Fin~
no subject
Date: 2010-06-17 02:37 am (UTC)I flailed about this, and lo! my prayers were answered.
God. I love fandom, and also, you. That was the best crack, especially the bit about the sad fact that they can't marry, but hey, civil partnership is totally fine! TEEHEE
:DDDD
no subject
Date: 2010-06-17 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-17 03:53 am (UTC)Sendy might be getting one for her bday so if she does we can go badger her >D
no subject
Date: 2010-06-17 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-17 04:04 am (UTC)But anyway, I suggest you to think twice as Merlin!dolphin here likes to give groin attacks D8
Thanks for redirecting xenakis here, I totally forgot to do so and just assumed that frigg did already >< Now I didn't write it in vain!
Is iPad good? (Have never seen one, just wrote it in because of xenakis's post.)