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Sep. 24th, 2011 02:22 pm[Colbert Report on the falling satellite] [the post at my tumblr here]
Svalbard No Longer The Land of Bears
Following the news of an incoming satellite, the evacuation of humans into Antarctica and Svalbard had filled the polar regions to the brim. The armoured bears were reported to be "confused" and "offended" by the sudden arrival. "It's just a little satellite! It won't even hurt if you wear a good enough armour." Commented a local bear guard. "I don't understand why humans insist to wear weak armours that fail to even block incoming pebbles. Just dress safely and they'll be fine."
Right now, the temporary population of Svalbard consist mostly of human refugees, who outnumber the bears at about 642k:1. "It's disappointing, ya know," commented a human refugee at Svalbard, "I choose this place over Antarctica because I wanted to see the bears. Now you look and all you see are other humans." The man confirmed that he has no plans for immigration and will return to his homeland as soon as the satellite landed. Many shared the same opinion. It is safe to say that Svalbard has hope to become the land of bears once again, but for now, it is the land of men.
The region of Antarctica had failed to give a comprehensible comment so far. Translators are currently working on it.
--
I was really bored with my homework so I went on tumblr. Then I wrote this instead of working on my stupid homework. Urgh.
Svalbard No Longer The Land of Bears
Following the news of an incoming satellite, the evacuation of humans into Antarctica and Svalbard had filled the polar regions to the brim. The armoured bears were reported to be "confused" and "offended" by the sudden arrival. "It's just a little satellite! It won't even hurt if you wear a good enough armour." Commented a local bear guard. "I don't understand why humans insist to wear weak armours that fail to even block incoming pebbles. Just dress safely and they'll be fine."
Right now, the temporary population of Svalbard consist mostly of human refugees, who outnumber the bears at about 642k:1. "It's disappointing, ya know," commented a human refugee at Svalbard, "I choose this place over Antarctica because I wanted to see the bears. Now you look and all you see are other humans." The man confirmed that he has no plans for immigration and will return to his homeland as soon as the satellite landed. Many shared the same opinion. It is safe to say that Svalbard has hope to become the land of bears once again, but for now, it is the land of men.
The region of Antarctica had failed to give a comprehensible comment so far. Translators are currently working on it.
--
I was really bored with my homework so I went on tumblr. Then I wrote this instead of working on my stupid homework. Urgh.
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